Wednesday, April 6, 2011

I still cry.

Today I took a different way home from work than I usually do. This new way ended up bringing me past the radiology clinic where I had my first CT scan telling the doctors there was something seriously wrong with me. As I drove past, tears came to my eyes as I thought back on the entire experience of my appendix rupturing. The time leading up to and following my surgery are still a blur and I continue to realize how much of a toll it all took on me; not only physically but emotionally.

Yes, I'm still tired and the scar where the incision was made is still sensitive but I'm healing and making great progress. So, I suppose that I am healing emotionally as well. Yes, I cried multiple times in the hospital but that can be expected. Since being hospitalized, there are times that just thinking about everything that took place makes me cry. I think I cried myself to sleep almost every night for about the first week after being discharged. I don't really know why...maybe it was thinking about the total invasion of any personal bubble I once had, or the fact that things could have been much more serious than they ended up being, or my perspective on life being completely changed.

The tears become more spread apart as time goes on, and I become less of an emotional basket-case.  But just as the physical aspect of healing will take time, so will the emotional side of things.

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